If you pick up a week-by-week baby book at any book store, you will see just how much the baby grows every week. It's quite incredible, how at this point my baby has arms, legs, a 4 chambered heart, a head, body, legs, the beginning of lung tissue, eyes, eye lids, and even ear lobes! Amazing.
My body has also been changing. For one, I am learning how "morning sickness" is quite the lie. How about 24/7 sickness, instead? Www.SafeFetus.com has been wonderful at helping me find medicines that are OK to take, and what aren't. For instance, Pepto Bismo and Dramamine are not safe for pregnancy. Pepto can cause birth deformities and Dramamine can cause contractions. Weird! So thank goodness for the prescription Phenegren! Sure, it knocks me the eff out in 30 mins flat, but it sure does help when I'm miserable and can't stay out of the bathroom.
Other changes? Well the titty fairy visited me again. I've always measured my breasts with my hands. Before the pregnancy, my hand, from beginning of palm to finger tips, almost covered my entire breast from the side. (A bit more than a handful for me, and an exact handful for my husband.) Now when I measure them, my hand covers my breast from beginning of palm to finger tip just over my nipple. They are almost twice as large, already. My bras are useless, and quite painful to wear. But you should see how happy my husband is to see them ;)
Because women don't start to show until about the 20th week, I thought I was quite safe for awhile. Because I am on my honeymoon and have spent a lot of time in the nude, noticing my body and how my body looks and feels has been a normal thing. Yesterday night, I went to sleep, thinking how nice it is that I still have my tiny waist for my honeymoon. When I awoke, I felt my waist again. And um... where did it go?! Turns out that bodies start to adjust way before the baby is big enough to show. My internal organs are shifting, and although I haven't gained any weight (I've even lost some due to how sick I've been) my pants are a bit snugger and my waist line (The little cinch below my rib cage) is thickening and quickly disappearing. My body is shifting to make room for the baby, and I am reaping the benefits already!
To tell you the truth, I really don't care. My husband and I got married on the 22nd, and although my hormones have caused a few fights, we are downright blissful. He rubs my stomach when he says good morning, we joke about how the baby is grounded for making me feel sick on my honeymoon. Any time I'm not feeling sick, we are enjoying the fact that BC is not needed. Scott seems to feel a bit guilty that he won't be hear for most of the pregnancy, so he has been pampering me. It's amazing having him around, and planning our family is fun, if a bit terrifying at the prospect of problems we are sure to run into.
All in all, an interesting twist of our original plans. I'm loving it!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Down the rabbit hole.
I had my first ultrasound! I didn't think that they would be able to see such a tiny thing, but apparently with the new vaginal ultrasounds (think really skinny, long penis, complete with a condom) It is possible. So I stripped down, gathered all the money I could get my hands on (as I am temporarily not insured) and spread my legs. As soon as she got it into place, I saw a black hole with a little white dot inside. It may not sound like much, but there it was. My baby, my little jelly bean. It's in the right place and is growing well.
I also saw my doctor, who said that the pain I have been feeling has (surprise!) nothing to do with the endometriosis. Underneath my ovaries I have varicose veins. During my period, while I'm on birth control pills, during sex, and apparently, during pregnancy these veins swell even more. My ovaries push down on them and a sharp pain strikes me. Sometimes it lasts for 10 seconds, helped with certain embarrassing positions that takes the pressure off, and others hit me with a vengeance that is not stopped for anything, up to an hour. During that 10 seconds to an hour I am useless. It is such a sharp pain that freeze and just hope and pray it goes away as soon as possible. There is nothing I can do to change this and will just have to deal. I've come to terms that although it hurts, it is not dangerous to my baby. He also asked me to switch my prenatal vitamins and gave me lots of free samples.
In much better news, Scott called! He got my letter telling him that I'm pregnant and found a way to call. He's very excited. I cannot wait to see him on the 16th. So close. So close!
A few of my friends have asked me what it's like, do I 'feel pregnant'? In some respects no. I don't have morning sickness, but I do have what I have come to call Super Nose! I can and do smell anything and everything. That warm (not spoiled, just warm) milk that I had for dinner and left on the table? Yeah, that will make me run from a room. My mother walks into the front door and I can smell her cigarettes from over 30 feet away. My dog comes in from peeing in the back yard and I can smell the grass. My friend gave me a hug and the smell of beer made me gag. Super nose, blessing and a curse. Oh, and as for feeling pregnant, I feel horrible, horrible exhaustion mixed with this strange insomnia. So I can sleep for about 4 hours and I wake up, but then 2 hours later I'm exhausted again. Any sort of activity kills me.
Good times. I'm sure it's only going to get more interesting.
I also saw my doctor, who said that the pain I have been feeling has (surprise!) nothing to do with the endometriosis. Underneath my ovaries I have varicose veins. During my period, while I'm on birth control pills, during sex, and apparently, during pregnancy these veins swell even more. My ovaries push down on them and a sharp pain strikes me. Sometimes it lasts for 10 seconds, helped with certain embarrassing positions that takes the pressure off, and others hit me with a vengeance that is not stopped for anything, up to an hour. During that 10 seconds to an hour I am useless. It is such a sharp pain that freeze and just hope and pray it goes away as soon as possible. There is nothing I can do to change this and will just have to deal. I've come to terms that although it hurts, it is not dangerous to my baby. He also asked me to switch my prenatal vitamins and gave me lots of free samples.
In much better news, Scott called! He got my letter telling him that I'm pregnant and found a way to call. He's very excited. I cannot wait to see him on the 16th. So close. So close!
A few of my friends have asked me what it's like, do I 'feel pregnant'? In some respects no. I don't have morning sickness, but I do have what I have come to call Super Nose! I can and do smell anything and everything. That warm (not spoiled, just warm) milk that I had for dinner and left on the table? Yeah, that will make me run from a room. My mother walks into the front door and I can smell her cigarettes from over 30 feet away. My dog comes in from peeing in the back yard and I can smell the grass. My friend gave me a hug and the smell of beer made me gag. Super nose, blessing and a curse. Oh, and as for feeling pregnant, I feel horrible, horrible exhaustion mixed with this strange insomnia. So I can sleep for about 4 hours and I wake up, but then 2 hours later I'm exhausted again. Any sort of activity kills me.
Good times. I'm sure it's only going to get more interesting.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Letters
During the first part of training in the military, the only way to communicate with someone is to write a letter. Scott and I have both become quite efficient in letter writing, including planning the wedding, normal everyday talk, and planning the future. So when I found out that I am pregnant, the only way to tell my husband to be was to write him a letter.
Can you imagine how frustrating that is?! At first, I decided to wait until I get to see him in person, which is now a little over a week, but I realized that I couldn't write him and not tell him. Not saying something so huge was like that felt like a lie by omission. So I wrote a letter, a short letter telling him that I'm pregnant and how much I love him. Since then I have received letters from him, but they are all before I sent this one. In fact, every letter I have received are all before I even found out I was pregnant.
The day before I found out, I was able to speak with him on the phone. It was such a gift, to be able to hear his voice, and I decided to tell him that I was late. When I told him this, he told me, "Well, if you're pregnant then I guess we're starting our family faster than I thought!" Today I received a letter in the mail that was the same day that we spoke on the phone.
It said, (and I quote), "I really liked talking to you on the phone, your voice sounded so sweet and it just put the biggest smile on my face. I love you so much babe, and I'm so happy we're getting married soon. I'm also excited that you might be pregnant. Sounds strange for me to say but I really hope that we may be..."
The letter also said that he is in the field until the 7th, which explains why he hasn't figured out a way to call me because he hasn't even gotten the letter telling him I'm pregnant yet! But my worries about how he will react have melted away.
:D
Can you imagine how frustrating that is?! At first, I decided to wait until I get to see him in person, which is now a little over a week, but I realized that I couldn't write him and not tell him. Not saying something so huge was like that felt like a lie by omission. So I wrote a letter, a short letter telling him that I'm pregnant and how much I love him. Since then I have received letters from him, but they are all before I sent this one. In fact, every letter I have received are all before I even found out I was pregnant.
The day before I found out, I was able to speak with him on the phone. It was such a gift, to be able to hear his voice, and I decided to tell him that I was late. When I told him this, he told me, "Well, if you're pregnant then I guess we're starting our family faster than I thought!" Today I received a letter in the mail that was the same day that we spoke on the phone.
It said, (and I quote), "I really liked talking to you on the phone, your voice sounded so sweet and it just put the biggest smile on my face. I love you so much babe, and I'm so happy we're getting married soon. I'm also excited that you might be pregnant. Sounds strange for me to say but I really hope that we may be..."
The letter also said that he is in the field until the 7th, which explains why he hasn't figured out a way to call me because he hasn't even gotten the letter telling him I'm pregnant yet! But my worries about how he will react have melted away.
:D
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
I've never been a patient person.
Before Scott first left for the military, I couldn't go 24 hours without seeing him. It was about two weeks after he left before I felt normal. As time went on, I learned patience. I learned that getting a letter once a week was fantastic, that a phone call once a month would delight me, and that being impatient doesn't do anything for a person.
Unfortunately, it seems my new found patience is only towards my future husband. I have not yet seen a doctor since I became pregnant. I called as soon as I found out I was pregnant to make an appointment, but the fastest they could see me is the 9th. I know this doesn't seem far off, but every day seems to take a month. Not to mention the pain that I'm in.
It is widely agreed upon by doctors that once a woman with endometriosis becomes pregnant that the pain will subside and the lesions will lessen because of the certain hormones that are pumped into her body. This is also supposed to happen with BC pills. Perhaps it should have been a sign when my pain actually became worse with BC pills, but I did not expect to have horrible, sharp pains during my pregnancy. I am scared to death, especially since every website and book says that this can be a sign of miscarriage. I haven't bled at all, not even spotting, but when I stand up or stretch my torso too fast, sharp pain right where my ovaries are hit me so hard that all I can do is wait for it to pass.
Today it got worse, so I called the doctor again and left a message with the nurse, telling her about my concerns. And now I'm waiting again. Waiting for the 9th, waiting for the phone call back, and dreading anything worse happening.
Unfortunately, it seems my new found patience is only towards my future husband. I have not yet seen a doctor since I became pregnant. I called as soon as I found out I was pregnant to make an appointment, but the fastest they could see me is the 9th. I know this doesn't seem far off, but every day seems to take a month. Not to mention the pain that I'm in.
It is widely agreed upon by doctors that once a woman with endometriosis becomes pregnant that the pain will subside and the lesions will lessen because of the certain hormones that are pumped into her body. This is also supposed to happen with BC pills. Perhaps it should have been a sign when my pain actually became worse with BC pills, but I did not expect to have horrible, sharp pains during my pregnancy. I am scared to death, especially since every website and book says that this can be a sign of miscarriage. I haven't bled at all, not even spotting, but when I stand up or stretch my torso too fast, sharp pain right where my ovaries are hit me so hard that all I can do is wait for it to pass.
Today it got worse, so I called the doctor again and left a message with the nurse, telling her about my concerns. And now I'm waiting again. Waiting for the 9th, waiting for the phone call back, and dreading anything worse happening.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Well, not quite
I'm not quite married with children. I am engaged and pregnant. Here's the story..
After dating for about a year and a half, Scott decided to join the Army. Right before he left, he proposed. I was very proud of him, and although it was hard being without him here, our relationship thrived under the distance. We set a date for the wedding, wrote letters telling each other about our days and how much we love one another, and cherished those rare phone calls.
Then comes family day. Family day is a gift, saying "He can't go home for leave before he goes to AIT, but if you want you can take him away from base for about 30 hours." And it was wonderful! On the 14th of Nov I flew out to Atlanta, Georgia and the next day Kellie (Scott's mom) and I went to Ft Benning and took Scott away. We had a great time, catching up, joking around, and of course, the night alone. The next day, we hung out some more and then dropped him off, giving our love and feeling great knowing that we would see each other on the 16th of December. Compared to 3 months, 4 weeks felt like a breeze.
Fast forward two weeks. We have resumed writing letters and hoping for those rare phone calls, but suddenly, I'm a bit worried. I'm late. Counting back the days, I realize that the one night that Scott and I got to spend together was about the day that according to my cycle, I would be ovulating. Hmm. Interesting. But, I'd had pregnancy scares before so I waited a couple more days, both dreading and hoping for my period. After being a week late, I took a home pregnancy test.
I drove to WalMart at midnight, eyes wide open, telling myself that there was no way I could be pregnant. Not after just one night, not after so many doctors telling me that it would be hard, if not impossible for me to get pregnant. Sure, that was the first time that I'd had sex since the surgery, but that didn't matter, right? Right? So I drove home with a full bladder and peed on the electronic pregnancy test. I put it down and walked away, pacing up and down my living room, counting two minutes. I slowly walked back into the bathroom and picked it up.
Pregnant
Suddenly my heart was racing and I felt like I couldn't breathe as my hands started shaking and dots appeared in front of my eyes. I acknowledged the panic attack and tried to calm myself down, only to freak out more. This is what I'd been hoping for, despite it being bad timing. I called Jenny, who's reaction was the one that I needed. "CONGRATS SARA! THAT'S AMAZING!" It broke into my head and I started laughing and crying at the same time.
So here I am, almost 21 years old, about to be married, and pregnant. I'm scared and happy and a little sick to my stomach haha. I have a wedding dress that will still fit me fine since I won't be showing yet. I have a future husband who will make a fantastic father. I'm so lucky.
And my boobs have already jumped a size. Wooo!
After dating for about a year and a half, Scott decided to join the Army. Right before he left, he proposed. I was very proud of him, and although it was hard being without him here, our relationship thrived under the distance. We set a date for the wedding, wrote letters telling each other about our days and how much we love one another, and cherished those rare phone calls.
Then comes family day. Family day is a gift, saying "He can't go home for leave before he goes to AIT, but if you want you can take him away from base for about 30 hours." And it was wonderful! On the 14th of Nov I flew out to Atlanta, Georgia and the next day Kellie (Scott's mom) and I went to Ft Benning and took Scott away. We had a great time, catching up, joking around, and of course, the night alone. The next day, we hung out some more and then dropped him off, giving our love and feeling great knowing that we would see each other on the 16th of December. Compared to 3 months, 4 weeks felt like a breeze.
Fast forward two weeks. We have resumed writing letters and hoping for those rare phone calls, but suddenly, I'm a bit worried. I'm late. Counting back the days, I realize that the one night that Scott and I got to spend together was about the day that according to my cycle, I would be ovulating. Hmm. Interesting. But, I'd had pregnancy scares before so I waited a couple more days, both dreading and hoping for my period. After being a week late, I took a home pregnancy test.
I drove to WalMart at midnight, eyes wide open, telling myself that there was no way I could be pregnant. Not after just one night, not after so many doctors telling me that it would be hard, if not impossible for me to get pregnant. Sure, that was the first time that I'd had sex since the surgery, but that didn't matter, right? Right? So I drove home with a full bladder and peed on the electronic pregnancy test. I put it down and walked away, pacing up and down my living room, counting two minutes. I slowly walked back into the bathroom and picked it up.
Pregnant
Suddenly my heart was racing and I felt like I couldn't breathe as my hands started shaking and dots appeared in front of my eyes. I acknowledged the panic attack and tried to calm myself down, only to freak out more. This is what I'd been hoping for, despite it being bad timing. I called Jenny, who's reaction was the one that I needed. "CONGRATS SARA! THAT'S AMAZING!" It broke into my head and I started laughing and crying at the same time.
So here I am, almost 21 years old, about to be married, and pregnant. I'm scared and happy and a little sick to my stomach haha. I have a wedding dress that will still fit me fine since I won't be showing yet. I have a future husband who will make a fantastic father. I'm so lucky.
And my boobs have already jumped a size. Wooo!
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